This week's wonderful blog post was written by our guest blogger Michelle West! In addition to being a blogger, Michelle is also an actress, model and love enthusiast. :) Visit her entire blog post at themichellewest.com.
Enjoy your read!
Hey, guys and girls! I’m changing the ‘vibe’ a bit today and chatting #relationshipgoals for a positive, happy relationship!!
Dean and I get asked for relationship advice a lot and often get complimented on our relationship and love for one another. I’m not saying this to brag at all; but, rather, to share with you all what we focus on to make our relationship what it is.
Relationships aren’t always easy but if you take the time to understand each other, they can be much easier than some people make them out to be. For instance, some couples always joke about how compliments stop after five years of marriage or they say, “we’ve been married this long so that doesn’t happen anymore” – whatever “that” may be lol.
But overall, relationships don’t have to be taxing work unless you truly do not love one another! If you truly do, it can be very easy. If it’s too hard, that may be a sign that you’re not in the right relationship!
Remember the saying, “your vibe attracts your tribe”, it may sound cliche’, but think about that in depth because what you put out there is what comes back to you; and this has a huge effect on your relationships from friendships to family to significant others.
First off, one of Dean and I’s best pieces of advice to test your relationship is to take a long road trip, like cross country long. This might sound crazy but I’m so serious. After Dean and I were living in Los Angles and dated for almost four years, we had to come back to Louisiana for work in the film industry; so needless to say, we had to drive. We had the absolute best time on the road; and when we got to Louisiana and didn’t want to stop traveling, I thought to myself “I’m marrying this dude!” I mean, I knew before that; but that was just the icing on the cake!
Today, I want to share 6 qualities that you should have for a positive, healthy, and meaningful relationship.
I think this is a no brainer; but this goes further than just everyday little things. This stems from the beginning of your relationship, as it builds trust!
The best way to have honesty and trust is to ‘communicate’ with each other. With that said, when I say be honest with each other, I’m talking about how and what you’re feeling. If something bothers you, be honest upfront so it doesn’t build up.
Everyone communicates differently so that may be a process in the beginning to learn about each other; but if you are honest with each other and compromise on your communication, then the trust builds and you know what to expect from each other.
I’m going to give you guys a real, legit example stepping into the actor world for a sec and it’s something that Dean and I had to work through in the beginning of our relationship; but through honest communication, we work amazingly together in this industry! After dating for about a year, Dean was cast in a film that entailed intimate scenes; and this was hard to take in since I hadn’t dealt with it before. Hence, why actors always say they don’t want to date other actors lol; but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Back to the point, through honest communication letting him know how I felt and through him realizing how to communicate with me about it, that is not even an issue in our relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong, it took some time, as we were eventually both faced with both sides; but by expressing our feelings and realizing how to communicate with each other on such an important issue, it has made our jobs much easier.
Everyone has different issues, (and know that EVERYONE has issues and that’s ok), but it is how you react to them and how you handle them together that creates the foundation of your relationship. No one has a choice how they grow up or what type of behaviors they learn or pick up so you will not have the same ideas on everything and it helps to know each others beliefs.
This may sound silly, but how do you originally cause someone to fall in love with you? You flirt with them! Therefore, don’t let that little spark die! Keep it alive by holding hands, little kisses, tickling, snuggling, etc. – whatever it is that always gives you the butterflies. If this happens to slack with your partner, go back to #1 and be honest with them in what you appreciate and what attracts you. They want to make you happy, but they aren’t mind readers!
Plan date nights at least 2 – 3 times a month if not more! Dean and I always do at least once a week. This doesn’t have to be something that costs a lot. Sure, you can always go to dinners, movies, etc.; but this can also be a movie night at home with some Trader Joe’s snacks catching up on your DVR. Honestly, those are my absolute favs and we always plan to do one a week, as it is a must! Side note, if you have a Trader Joe’s around you, get the Pumpkin Ginger mini ice cream cones for your next date night! You’re welcome! :)
You significant other should be the one person that you can do anything in front of or tell anything to without the thought of being judged! This is everything from your silly dream last night to your biggest goal that can never be too big because you have their support. Always support each other in all endeavours regardless the limit and you guys will fly with the eagles together!
This is one of my fav things to both do and receive! Write notes and letters to each other, and give random cards to each other. It can be a note that is stuck to the door so they see it before they leave in the morning; or leave it in their lunch so they get it at work. Little things like this simply make someone else’s day.
Dean knew that I have been overwhelmed with my work schedule and to-do list lately; and, recently, he left a card on my desk just saying how proud of me he was for my drive and determination. His handwritten words brought happy tears to my eyes because I knew, no matter how overwhelmed I get, I always have his support.
Oh, another note but not the same note, I am not sure if you all have ever heard of ‘Engaged Encounter’ but it’s a weekend retreat that prepares couples for marriage. You have to go through it to get married in the Catholic Church; and, at first, we were like “Ugh, why do we have to do this? We already know we love each other?” Honestly, we were kind of brats about it lol! BUT, we ended up having the BEST time; and Dean was, of course, the comedian of the small group chats!!!
We highly recommend it for anyone getting married; but, anyway, my point – They have you write letters on certain topics back and forth in one notebook to each other over the weekend; and, over the years, we have kept that up randomly! So you can always start a notebook, which is so amazing to have it all in one place to go back to and read how you’ve grown together!
This kind of goes with some stuff we already said; but these are just the little everyday things that make a big difference, such as “you look gorgeous today”, “you are so beautiful”, “you did a great job on the yard today”, etc. And, with that said, always thank them even when it’s things that they always do, for instance “thanks for doing the dishes today”, or “thanks for doing the laundry today”, or “thanks for doing the yard today”.
In some families, each person has their specific tasks; but they will still always appreciate the “thank you” for doing them. In our family, Dean is almost always the one that cooks, and I will always thank him for our meal when we sit down to eat; and I am almost always the one to do the laundry, and he will always thank me any time I hand him his stack of clean clothes!
Apologies for the novel today, everyone, but these little things go a long way and even by working some of them into your relationship, you and your partner are bound to better yourselves for each other even if you already have a good relationship!
You can shop our shirts and many more styles here, as we live by a lot of the quotes and vibes on their pieces!
I hope you enjoyed this little snippet into some TeamWest life; and we hope to continue to inspire you all daily!
Until next time, peace and love,
Check out Michelle's blog at themichellewest.com
We'd love to hear your tips for a happy and healthy relationship. Feel free to share them in the comments below. :)